Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Boat Buddies

Attention, fanbase! My new game is now available for you to play! Huzzah!

Click here to download "Boat Buddies Battling a Big ol' Battleship in Bodiggory Bay, Baby!"

The assignment for this game was to create a game that could be played cooperatively. So, to play, you may want to fetch yourself a cooperator. Now... the strange thing is, technically, I haven't even played this game all the way through yet. Because it's cooperative, and I am minus a companion and minus a sidekick, I haven't been able to playtest it. Um. So hopefully it works. But I can tell you that if you too are minus a companion/sidekick, it's still possible to play all the way through. It's just gonna suck. But play around with it and drop me a comment if you'd like to boost my self-esteem.
Last time there were some errors, but no one was sure if it it was an error or if the game was just supposed to be like that. Lemme tell you: this time, there is only one boss. You'll have to play for a several minutes to get to the boss. Turrets should be shooting at you. The boss should be shooting at you. When the boss goes down, the whole ship should go down. Um. Yeah. If nothing works, please let me know. If everything works, please give me a high five.

Once again, if you take credit for my work, I'll punch you in the mouth. Repeatedly. Graphics I also do. Music I do not do. Music been did done by Nintendo, Rare, Square-Enix, and... um... HAL Laboratory? And the sound effects... ah, who knows?

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Continuing Adventures of the Same Game

So, as far as I can tell, I've had about three to four players of my "FireFox mod." I'm pretty sure more than one constitutes as a fanbase. However! 33.3% of my players complained that he (or she) couldn't get past the first boss. Not because he/she lacked the required skills, but because Windows Media Player trapped him/her in its arena. TWICE. This is most unfortunate. There are three levels, and three bosses, and my dream is that one day all my players can say they've officially saved the day. Well, I downloaded what I uploaded, and I didn't have any problems with it, so I'm not sure what happened. But lemme tell ya what I'm gonna do.

This is the original version. The one I submitted for class. I wouldn't think it should play any different, but you at least gotta make it to the second level. If something still isn't going right, this version includes cheats. Which I'm not gonna share with you. Unless you really want them.

Also, I don't know that the instructions were very clear. Nope; definitely not.
Use your arrow keys to move,
use the space bar to shoot,
shoot at those nasty executables and what not flying at you,
they'll go down after three hits (five on the third level),
and killing 20 of them will get you to the boss.
Kill the boss, also.

Hope it goes better this time around. Never give up. Trust your instincts. Let me know how it goes.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

My First Book!

So, I generally don't get a lot of thinking done, because I'd much rather be wasting away in front of the TV or living it up via video games. But in those rare moments when I find myself enshrouded in silence, occasionally a fantastic quote pops into my mind. Such as:

"If the world is dark, then the comedian sheds light on it.
If the world is ugly, then the artist draws beauty from it."

-James "Zanzibar" Carlson
Brilliant! Or how about:
"The most important decisions you make are the ones made in the present."
-James "Jujyfruit" Carlson
O! The great advice I give!
But how will I ever get these inspiring quotes into circulation? (I'll admit, blogging was the easy way out.) Most great quotes generally seem to travel quickly through books. Therefore, I must write a book! But I don't feel like doing anything creative at the moment, so I'll just publish a lil' quickie:
ONCE upon a time... if the world is dark, then the comedian sheds light on it; if the world is ugly, then the artist draws beauty from it.
"The most important decisions you make are the ones made in the present," James Carlson proclaimed, as he sheathed his sword and stepped over the dragon's horrible corpse.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The End

Well, everybody, I hope you found that story to be both eye-opening and life-changing.

If not, as a small consolation prize, I'd encourage you to search "Blue Ridge Mountains" on my good friend, The Hype Machine. Sean introduced me to Fleet Foxes just recently, but I've really been enjoying them. In response, I've written my brother this little diddy:

But, Sean, don't get callous;
I'm sure it'll be fine.
I love you— I love you,
Oh, brother of mine.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Sweetest Venom

Oh, how I hate school. How I hate it with an undying passion! You know what I hate most about school? Homework. As if rotting in its walls all day wasn't enough, they send their terrible venom home with me!

But Hark! What glorious wonder is this?! Homework I enjoy doing?!?! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY LIFE?!?!?!
Yes, folks, game design. One of the few tasks I've ever enjoyed working hard at. I feel pretty happy with the game I turned in this morning, so I thought I'd share it with you, my beloved reader. It's far from perfect. I've noticed a few bugs, and I wish I had added on a bit more before I had to turn it in. But all things considered, it's not awful.

And as an added bonus, I'll throw in my first assignment, Ghostie McGhostensen. That's how much I love you.

These are the first files I've uploaded to Media Fire, but it seems promising. Let me know that it works. Let me know if you have any problems with the files. Let me know if you love it. Or like it. Or think it's decent. If you hate it, you leave me alone. Forever.

Also, the games themselves are copyright (O-8) to Uncle J. "Xarwinius" Karlsson. Well... exlcuding whatever isn't already copyright to Windows, Mozilla, Apple, Google, Valve, Game Maker, Nintendo, and Rare... I think that covers everything. But seriously, if I find out you took credit for my work, I will hunt. you. down.

Hope you enjoy!

Monday, September 22, 2008


James Carlson presents:
A Heroes Rant.
I don't know how much addiction has entered my life. Usually it's more of an obsession. With obsession, it's an uncontrollable drive to do or think about something I enjoy or even love. Legend of Zelda. Half-Life. 28 Days Later. Sufjan. To name a few. I think of an addiction as an uncontrollable drive to do or think about something that I hate.

And tonight, during the premiere of season 3, I realized that I'm addicted to Heroes. Which I hate. The whole concept of Heroes is that ordinary people begin to discover that they're gifted with extraordinary powers, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now, this is all well and good. Some chose to use their powers for evil, while all other characters pretty much just stand around and cry because their powers complicate their lives. Notice I left out the crowd that makes a choice to use their powers for good. Here's one of the major issues that I have with the show. There are no protagonists. As the story sporatically jumps around through past and present, it becomes clear that pretty much everyone becomes a villain at some point, or at least lives as selfishly and as whinally as possible. This didn't really occur to me until tonight as [SPOILERS] Claire tried to kill Peter, Peter killed Nathan, Ando killed Hiro, and Mohinder got freaky.[/spoilers] Sure, it could just be because these characters are constantly pushed to harder and harder circumstances, but wasn't that the Joker's theory? Where is our Batman?! Where is our Christopher Nolan?!
Now, Heroes faithfuls; I know you want to defend Hiro. But that only brings me to my next point: Nobody ever uses their freaking powers! If you had the ability to travel through time, teleport, read thoughts, fly, or heal yourself while an evil beareded man is tearing open your skull, wouldn't you use it every now and then? Especially if you're supposedly trying to save the world? Of course, their was that one scene in season 2 when Peter and Sylar were about to have an epic battle... and the camera panned away. What. Teh. Heck.
As if all of this wasn't bad enough, nothing is ever resolved. Some characters are even killed off, only to reappear later for some dumb reason. That's pretty much all these powers do: ensure that stupid, static characters never die. Instead, new characters and new [lame] plot complications are introduced every episode.
No protagonists, unused super powers, no resolution, no death, terrible acting, horrible writing, no Batman, no redemption... the list goes on... Oh, how it agonizes me how the list goes on...
Tim Kring even apologized for the way last season turned out... That gave me such hope for this season! Stop playing with my heart!
So why can't I stop watching? I think it's because the show really does have potential... Oh, how it pains me how much unfufilled potential there is!! Everything I mentioned just has to be reversed! Actual heroes! Resolution! Death! Sweet battle scenes!
Tim Kring... NBC... if by some freak coincidence you're reading this, let me come write for you! Sure I don't have any experience, but I charge you no thing! I can make those awful characters into true Heroes!

Sunday, September 21, 2008


I get needlessly overemotional after midnight, true enough, but I literally think this is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Monday, September 15, 2008


These days, anytime I try to talk about my problems, they only get worse. And I've got a lot of problems. I gotta try something new...


I got a Link plush toy today. ^________^