H is for Helping!!

Ugh. I don't know think many people know this (mainly because it doesn't come across very well), but I think God has given me a heart for helping others. Now, all that really means is that I want to help others, but more often than not, fail to do so. Often I pray that God will provide a blatantly obvious opportunity to help someone out. Well, my Lord certainly answers prayers, but that doesn't make me any less of an idiot (ironically, my most frequent prayer request).

The past couple of days I've ran into plenty of people in need. The first right here in Monutown. I was driving home and saw a kid walking home from school, looking for a ride. He was your standard teenager. Lots of black (of course, I love black) and a skateboard in his right hand. At first I sort of scoffed to myself, as I had been working with teenagers all day and had had quite enough. But as I passed him, I realized that's really not what my attitude ought to be at all! I could've been a "good Samaritan!" I found myself in remorse a quarter of a mile later, praying for another hitchhiker to come along. A second chance.

God does indeed answer prayer. The next day in WP, I was heading home once more when I saw another hitchhiker with a cowboy hat and a guitar. A guitar! People with guitars are always interesting; it's a scientific fact! I gave this one far more consideration, but still sped right by him.

Why was I slow to give either of these guys a chance? Of course, picking up hitchhikers in our society is frowned upon. There's too much concern over which ones are stalkers, rapists, serial killers, and worst of all... moochers. But since when have I gone along with popular thought? The Halo series brought nothing new to the table, Juno was the worst tragedy ever to befall our great nation, and Jesus Christ is Lord and died and rose again to save you from your sins. Why not pick someone up?

To make matters worse, as I was driving home, I saw another person in need. A teenage girl. And the last time I checked, teenager girls have a very low rate of raping and serial killing (mooching and stalking... no comment). Her car had veered off the road and she was trying to push it up onto an exit ramp. Surely I would have done no wrong in helping her out! But I sped past her again, helping her only an afterthought. What is wrong with me?! I want to help people so badly, but I run past every opportunity I get!

Maybe it's because of my own misanthropy (which doesn't mix well with the spiritual gift of helps). Maybe I'm afraid of rejection because Americans are too proud to receive help and trying to assist someone only makes you nosy and overbearing. Maybe Majora's Mask done me wrong.

Which, of course, demands an explanation. One of my favorite games of all time, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, is one of my favorite games of all time because you run around helping people. In its far more popular predecessor, The Ocarina of Time, you watch lives decay as the influence of Ganondorf (the King of Evil) spread, and, of course, it's a given that once Ganondorf is defeated, the land of Hyrule once again becomes a peaceful and prosperous place. But in Majora's Mask, your aid becomes so much more personal. As you go about the country of Termina, you met plenty of hurting "people" in need, jot it down in your Bomber's Notebook, and then come back and help them out in some obscure way, usually involving some sort of sweet mask. Heck, if you need to, you can even turn back time and simply try again!

Why can't helping people be more like that? That's all I want: for people to spill their hearts out to me, to have a notebook that automatically sums up their problems and provides the times that I can help them, and to be able to solve everyone's problems by wearing a mask and dancing around! Is that so much to ask?

It pains me also because I think I do live my life very selfishly, and I'm sure there are plenty of times I've also sped past the problems of friends and family without a second thought.

Well, next summer I'm hoping to try something new. I'd like to travel across the country, helping out everywhere. I need to plan a bit, and save up a lot, but my hope is to wind up in all sorts of places, just helping with whatever, directed both by Volunteer Match and local churches. And God. That's the plan anyway, though it does feel somewhat lofty... Hope I don't leave this one by the side of the road too...

How I Spent My Summer Vacation (Part I of I)

Alas, the blog is dying. I'm OK with that. But thought I'd give you a quick update.

This summer, I worked at Camp Elim for nine weeks. Twice counseling:

And seven times videographing and photographing:

Though I'm not really doing much of anything in this picture...

Videographing/Photographing includes: videographing and photographing various activities, editing videos for the end of the week to show to parents, taking and printing cabin photos and camp photos, uploading photos to the website, putting together a summer wrap-up for the churches that supported us, putting together a summer promo for next year, helping put together a brochure for next summer, eating leftovers, and being bothered in my office.

I really enjoyed the summer, though it was a little draining. I made a lot of new friends, saw a lot of life change in campers and staff alike, and drew closer to God.

Now I'm headed back to school (curses!), at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs (or UniCo@CoSpri for short [or UCCS for even shorter]) (curses!). School starts a week from today (curses!) and I still haven't registered for classes because I'm having trouble with their network (curses!). I'll be living at home and working at... uh... TBD.

In other news, most of my friends are heading out to the farthest reaches, I went swing dancing last night, and am currently on an arduous quest to collect all Sufjan B-Sides. It is impossible.

The Yes 40th Anniversary Tour is cancelled.

Because Jon Anderson is old. But I still love his voice, his wisecracks and wonderful mannerisms. I just want to see them all in person.

Dang it all. I was really looking forward to that. Oh well. 45th, boys?

Québécois Gold!

So, I'm at Camp Elim now, and will be for most of the summer. I suppose I won't be posting much, but I can't stay away from my beloved blahg.

So I'll just post whatever.

"Dixie," by Harmonium. I love it!

Spaced

(Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, Jessica Hynes, 1999, 2001)

Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, (two of my absolute favorites) priorly teamed up (with many other wonderful comedians) to make a sitcom about life in London at the millennial turn under the influence of American culture. The show begins with Simon Pegg and co-writing co-star Jessica Hynes pretending to be a couple in order to obtain a flat. This isn't a huge part of the show, as only their landlady is duped into believing them. Instead, the rest of the series revolves around the outlandish characters and their outrageous misadventures.

This is the funniest show I have ever seen. The humor is brilliant and the timing is perfect. No cheap shots. No clichés. And what I love about the Pegg/Frost/Wright Entente is that their projects aren't just a lot of stupidity thrown together, but always offer positive, redemptive themes. In this sitcom, I think its generally as simple as all the friends looking out for each other. Spaced is now my favorite television show.

An American remake pilot was recently filmed, but was quickly shot down by Fox! Hip-hip! Hurray! Spaced releases on [Region 1] DVD this summer (July 23). Finally. In the meantime, if you want to check it out... well, if all else fails, YouTube has all fourteen episodes.

5/5 stars

Above: You and I, splitting up, looking for survivors, and getting out of Raccoon City.

"Brave" New [Jim]

Today's a whining post. I'd urge you to skip over this.
So, the daily posting has definitely come to a halt, but I'll try not to let this blog die out. Not just yet. I've been pretty busy trying to catch up with old friends. But as I watch myself interact with others, I can't help but think that something terrible has happened to me. I'm different. But not in the way you would hope someone would be after a year of Bible college. While I try to be more focused on Christ and try to be more considerate of those around me, I just seem to be getting worse. I've become even less articulate, more awkward, more clueless, less confident, more overemotional, and afraid of everything... Where did all of this come from?

Actually, a lot of old friends have made comments about me based on how I used to be that really kinda hurt... I don't know how to respond, but it sounds like I used to be a real piece of work. But it's like I'm only trading out terrible qualities for other terrible qualities. What am I doing? What do I do now?

I have nothing to look forward to! I know this is dramatic, but it's refreshing to at least be honest every now and then. I don't want to go to UCCS. I don't ever want to go to school again. Neither do I want to stay home, 'cause I'll just end up playing video games and watching TV all day. I don't really want to go to Camp Elim, either... I mean, with this emotional and spiritual instability, I especially don't want to be counseling. I really can't seem to find anything I want except a fantasy girl who does not exist and children I'll probably screw up twice as bad as I have myself. Yeah, the dream is still to make video games, but I don't believe in myself at all anymore. And God seems to be silent... or I can't hear Him, or I'm not listening, or something.

Is it really fair to pin all this on Emmaus, or was this character decay inevitable? I feel like, as gay as it may sound, Emmaus has crushed my spirit. I feel like I've been driven insane and reduced to nothing. Though Emmaus is (and always will be) over, I feel haunted. I don't know if it was the shame-based teaching, the impossibly lofty expectations, or the perpetual inability to be myself, but I feel devastated. Like I have nothing left.

I turned the comments off for this post, 'cause I don't want anyone to feel obligated to say something. I'm not looking for pity, and I'm certainly not looking for the default Christian answers. This is just something I had to say.

You can say the word.
Unworthy though I am,
O Bread of Life, O Bread of Life,
I will be healed and come.

Christ, Christ is my hope.
Christ, Christ is my light.
-Karen Peris, The Innocence Mission

(I really don't like to post song lyrics, but you looked like you need that.)

Movie Review MADNESS

So, on my international flights, I had plenty of time to catch up on my film consumption. Here's what I consumed:

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
(Andrew Adamson, 2005)
It's been quite awhile since I've read the book, so I really can't remember how well the movie stays true to the original story. But it seemed fairly well done. The kids weren't too bad of actors for their ages. All the baddies had ridiculously lame voices, though... Something felt like it was missing. But I love Aslan, and everything he said made me cry. 'Cause [H]e's(?) Jesus.
3/5 stars

Beetlejuice
(Tim Burton, 1988)
I watched this on the Israeli movie channel, HotFun, because I was too tired to do anything else and nothing else was on. I vaguely recall seeing this movie when I was a kid, but all this movie was is, as they say on the streets, stinky poopy doo-doo. I kinda hate myself for watching all the way until the end.
1/5 stars (pretty much the worst rating I'll give)

the second half of Collateral
(Michael Mann, 2004)
I flipped to this right after Beetlejuice (but on HotAction). It was dumb, boring and cliché. Why don't you shut up and leave us alone, Tom Cruise?
2/5 stars

The Savages
(Tamara Jenkins, 2007)
Wasn't that entertaining, and I didn't really get anything out of it. I didn't dislike it, but I wouldn't watch it again.
2/5 stars (but a higher two stars than Collateral)

The Kite Runner
(Mark Forster, 2007)
Beautiful. Powerful. Heart-warming. Intense. Epic. Brilliant story, cinematography, and acting. (Or at least I assume so. It's always harder to tell when the movie's in another language.)
5/5 stars (pretty much the best rating I'll give)

The Good Night
(Jake Paltrow, 2007)
With Martin Freeman (The [British] Office) and Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) starring, I was hoping for more of a comedy. I liked the story though, but it was kind of an awkward film to watch on a plane while surrounded by Bible college students.
3/5 stars

Um... I think that was it.