Boat Buddies

Attention, fanbase! My new game is now available for you to play! Huzzah!

Click here to download "Boat Buddies Battling a Big ol' Battleship in Bodiggory Bay, Baby!"

The assignment for this game was to create a game that could be played cooperatively. So, to play, you may want to fetch yourself a cooperator. Now... the strange thing is, technically, I haven't even played this game all the way through yet. Because it's cooperative, and I am minus a companion and minus a sidekick, I haven't been able to playtest it. Um. So hopefully it works. But I can tell you that if you too are minus a companion/sidekick, it's still possible to play all the way through. It's just gonna suck. But play around with it and drop me a comment if you'd like to boost my self-esteem.
Last time there were some errors, but no one was sure if it it was an error or if the game was just supposed to be like that. Lemme tell you: this time, there is only one boss. You'll have to play for a several minutes to get to the boss. Turrets should be shooting at you. The boss should be shooting at you. When the boss goes down, the whole ship should go down. Um. Yeah. If nothing works, please let me know. If everything works, please give me a high five.

Once again, if you take credit for my work, I'll punch you in the mouth. Repeatedly. Graphics I also do. Music I do not do. Music been did done by Nintendo, Rare, Square-Enix, and... um... HAL Laboratory? And the sound effects... ah, who knows?

The Continuing Adventures of the Same Game

So, as far as I can tell, I've had about three to four players of my "FireFox mod." I'm pretty sure more than one constitutes as a fanbase. However! 33.3% of my players complained that he (or she) couldn't get past the first boss. Not because he/she lacked the required skills, but because Windows Media Player trapped him/her in its arena. TWICE. This is most unfortunate. There are three levels, and three bosses, and my dream is that one day all my players can say they've officially saved the day. Well, I downloaded what I uploaded, and I didn't have any problems with it, so I'm not sure what happened. But lemme tell ya what I'm gonna do.

This is the original version. The one I submitted for class. I wouldn't think it should play any different, but you at least gotta make it to the second level. If something still isn't going right, this version includes cheats. Which I'm not gonna share with you. Unless you really want them.

Also, I don't know that the instructions were very clear. Nope; definitely not.
Use your arrow keys to move,
use the space bar to shoot,
shoot at those nasty executables and what not flying at you,
they'll go down after three hits (five on the third level),
and killing 20 of them will get you to the boss.
Kill the boss, also.

Hope it goes better this time around. Never give up. Trust your instincts. Let me know how it goes.

My First Book!

So, I generally don't get a lot of thinking done, because I'd much rather be wasting away in front of the TV or living it up via video games. But in those rare moments when I find myself enshrouded in silence, occasionally a fantastic quote pops into my mind. Such as:

"If the world is dark, then the comedian sheds light on it.
If the world is ugly, then the artist draws beauty from it."

-James "Zanzibar" Carlson

Brilliant! Or how about:

"The most important decisions you make are the ones made in the present."

-James "Jujyfruit" Carlson

O! The great advice I give!

But how will I ever get these inspiring quotes into circulation? (I'll admit, blogging was the easy way out.) Most great quotes generally seem to travel quickly through books. Therefore, I must write a book! But I don't feel like doing anything creative at the moment, so I'll just publish a lil' quickie:

ONCE upon a time... if the world is dark, then the comedian sheds light on it; if the world is ugly, then the artist draws beauty from it.

~~Meanwhile~~

"The most important decisions you make are the ones made in the present," James Carlson proclaimed, as he sheathed his sword and stepped over the dragon's horrible corpse.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End

Well, everybody, I hope you found that story to be both eye-opening and life-changing.

If not, as a small consolation prize, I'd encourage you to search "Blue Ridge Mountains" on my good friend, The Hype Machine. Sean introduced me to Fleet Foxes just recently, but I've really been enjoying them. In response, I've written my brother this little diddy:

But, Sean, don't get callous;

I'm sure it'll be fine.

I love you— I love you,

Oh, brother of mine.

The Sweetest Venom

Oh, how I hate school. How I hate it with an undying passion! You know what I hate most about school? Homework. As if rotting in its walls all day wasn't enough, they send their terrible venom home with me!

But Hark! What glorious wonder is this?! Homework I enjoy doing?!?! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY LIFE?!?!?!

Yes, folks, game design. One of the few tasks I've ever enjoyed working hard at. I feel pretty happy with the game I turned in this morning, so I thought I'd share it with you, my beloved reader. It's far from perfect. I've noticed a few bugs, and I wish I had added on a bit more before I had to turn it in. But all things considered, it's not awful.

This is Firefox.

And as an added bonus, I'll throw in my first assignment, Ghostie McGhostensen. That's how much I love you.

These are the first files I've uploaded to Media Fire, but it seems promising. Let me know that it works. Let me know if you have any problems with the files. Let me know if you love it. Or like it. Or think it's decent. If you hate it, you leave me alone. Forever.

Also, the games themselves are copyright (O-8) to Uncle J. "Xarwinius" Karlsson. Well... exlcuding whatever isn't already copyright to Windows, Mozilla, Apple, Google, Valve, Game Maker, Nintendo, and Rare... I think that covers everything. But seriously, if I find out you took credit for my work, I will hunt. you. down.

Hope you enjoy!

Zeroes

James Carlson presents:

A Heroes Rant.

I don't know how much addiction has entered my life. Usually it's more of an obsession. With obsession, it's an uncontrollable drive to do or think about something I enjoy or even love. Legend of Zelda. Half-Life. 28 Days Later. Sufjan. To name a few. I think of an addiction as an uncontrollable drive to do or think about something that I hate.

And tonight, during the premiere of season 3, I realized that I'm addicted to Heroes. Which I hate. The whole concept of Heroes is that ordinary people begin to discover that they're gifted with extraordinary powers, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now, this is all well and good. Some chose to use their powers for evil, while all other characters pretty much just stand around and cry because their powers complicate their lives. Notice I left out the crowd that makes a choice to use their powers for good. Here's one of the major issues that I have with the show. There are no protagonists. As the story sporatically jumps around through past and present, it becomes clear that pretty much everyone becomes a villain at some point, or at least lives as selfishly and as whinally as possible. This didn't really occur to me until tonight as [SPOILERS] Claire tried to kill Peter, Peter killed Nathan, Ando killed Hiro, and Mohinder got freaky.[/spoilers] Sure, it could just be because these characters are constantly pushed to harder and harder circumstances, but wasn't that the Joker's theory? Where is our Batman?! Where is our Christopher Nolan?!

Now, Heroes faithfuls; I know you want to defend Hiro. But that only brings me to my next point: Nobody ever uses their freaking powers! If you had the ability to travel through time, teleport, read thoughts, fly, or heal yourself while an evil beareded man is tearing open your skull, wouldn't you use it every now and then? Especially if you're supposedly trying to save the world? Of course, their was that one scene in season 2 when Peter and Sylar were about to have an epic battle... and the camera panned away. What. Teh. Heck.

As if all of this wasn't bad enough, nothing is ever resolved. Some characters are even killed off, only to reappear later for some dumb reason. That's pretty much all these powers do: ensure that stupid, static characters never die. Instead, new characters and new [lame] plot complications are introduced every episode.

No protagonists, unused super powers, no resolution, no death, terrible acting, horrible writing, no Batman, no redemption... the list goes on... Oh, how it agonizes me how the list goes on...

Tim Kring even apologized for the way last season turned out... That gave me such hope for this season! Stop playing with my heart!

So why can't I stop watching? I think it's because the show really does have potential... Oh, how it pains me how much unfufilled potential there is!! Everything I mentioned just has to be reversed! Actual heroes! Resolution! Death! Sweet battle scenes!

Tim Kring... NBC... if by some freak coincidence you're reading this, let me come write for you! Sure I don't have any experience, but I charge you no thing! I can make those awful characters into true Heroes!

Samskeyti

I get needlessly overemotional after midnight, true enough, but I literally think this is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Fustation

These days, anytime I try to talk about my problems, they only get worse. And I've got a lot of problems. I gotta try something new...

....................................

I got a Link plush toy today. ^________^

Blahging Block

Tonight I tried to type "common ground" in an e-mail to a friend, and I accidently typed "TacoBell."

I ain't right.

H is for Helping!!

Ugh. I don't know think many people know this (mainly because it doesn't come across very well), but I think God has given me a heart for helping others. Now, all that really means is that I want to help others, but more often than not, fail to do so. Often I pray that God will provide a blatantly obvious opportunity to help someone out. Well, my Lord certainly answers prayers, but that doesn't make me any less of an idiot (ironically, my most frequent prayer request).

The past couple of days I've ran into plenty of people in need. The first right here in Monutown. I was driving home and saw a kid walking home from school, looking for a ride. He was your standard teenager. Lots of black (of course, I love black) and a skateboard in his right hand. At first I sort of scoffed to myself, as I had been working with teenagers all day and had had quite enough. But as I passed him, I realized that's really not what my attitude ought to be at all! I could've been a "good Samaritan!" I found myself in remorse a quarter of a mile later, praying for another hitchhiker to come along. A second chance.

God does indeed answer prayer. The next day in WP, I was heading home once more when I saw another hitchhiker with a cowboy hat and a guitar. A guitar! People with guitars are always interesting; it's a scientific fact! I gave this one far more consideration, but still sped right by him.

Why was I slow to give either of these guys a chance? Of course, picking up hitchhikers in our society is frowned upon. There's too much concern over which ones are stalkers, rapists, serial killers, and worst of all... moochers. But since when have I gone along with popular thought? The Halo series brought nothing new to the table, Juno was the worst tragedy ever to befall our great nation, and Jesus Christ is Lord and died and rose again to save you from your sins. Why not pick someone up?

To make matters worse, as I was driving home, I saw another person in need. A teenage girl. And the last time I checked, teenager girls have a very low rate of raping and serial killing (mooching and stalking... no comment). Her car had veered off the road and she was trying to push it up onto an exit ramp. Surely I would have done no wrong in helping her out! But I sped past her again, helping her only an afterthought. What is wrong with me?! I want to help people so badly, but I run past every opportunity I get!

Maybe it's because of my own misanthropy (which doesn't mix well with the spiritual gift of helps). Maybe I'm afraid of rejection because Americans are too proud to receive help and trying to assist someone only makes you nosy and overbearing. Maybe Majora's Mask done me wrong.

Which, of course, demands an explanation. One of my favorite games of all time, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, is one of my favorite games of all time because you run around helping people. In its far more popular predecessor, The Ocarina of Time, you watch lives decay as the influence of Ganondorf (the King of Evil) spread, and, of course, it's a given that once Ganondorf is defeated, the land of Hyrule once again becomes a peaceful and prosperous place. But in Majora's Mask, your aid becomes so much more personal. As you go about the country of Termina, you met plenty of hurting "people" in need, jot it down in your Bomber's Notebook, and then come back and help them out in some obscure way, usually involving some sort of sweet mask. Heck, if you need to, you can even turn back time and simply try again!

Why can't helping people be more like that? That's all I want: for people to spill their hearts out to me, to have a notebook that automatically sums up their problems and provides the times that I can help them, and to be able to solve everyone's problems by wearing a mask and dancing around! Is that so much to ask?

It pains me also because I think I do live my life very selfishly, and I'm sure there are plenty of times I've also sped past the problems of friends and family without a second thought.

Well, next summer I'm hoping to try something new. I'd like to travel across the country, helping out everywhere. I need to plan a bit, and save up a lot, but my hope is to wind up in all sorts of places, just helping with whatever, directed both by Volunteer Match and local churches. And God. That's the plan anyway, though it does feel somewhat lofty... Hope I don't leave this one by the side of the road too...

How I Spent My Summer Vacation (Part I of I)

Alas, the blog is dying. I'm OK with that. But thought I'd give you a quick update.

This summer, I worked at Camp Elim for nine weeks. Twice counseling:

And seven times videographing and photographing:

Though I'm not really doing much of anything in this picture...

Videographing/Photographing includes: videographing and photographing various activities, editing videos for the end of the week to show to parents, taking and printing cabin photos and camp photos, uploading photos to the website, putting together a summer wrap-up for the churches that supported us, putting together a summer promo for next year, helping put together a brochure for next summer, eating leftovers, and being bothered in my office.

I really enjoyed the summer, though it was a little draining. I made a lot of new friends, saw a lot of life change in campers and staff alike, and drew closer to God.

Now I'm headed back to school (curses!), at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs (or UniCo@CoSpri for short [or UCCS for even shorter]) (curses!). School starts a week from today (curses!) and I still haven't registered for classes because I'm having trouble with their network (curses!). I'll be living at home and working at... uh... TBD.

In other news, most of my friends are heading out to the farthest reaches, I went swing dancing last night, and am currently on an arduous quest to collect all Sufjan B-Sides. It is impossible.

The Yes 40th Anniversary Tour is cancelled.

Because Jon Anderson is old. But I still love his voice, his wisecracks and wonderful mannerisms. I just want to see them all in person.

Dang it all. I was really looking forward to that. Oh well. 45th, boys?

Québécois Gold!

So, I'm at Camp Elim now, and will be for most of the summer. I suppose I won't be posting much, but I can't stay away from my beloved blahg.

So I'll just post whatever.

"Dixie," by Harmonium. I love it!

Spaced

(Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, Jessica Hynes, 1999, 2001)

Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, (two of my absolute favorites) priorly teamed up (with many other wonderful comedians) to make a sitcom about life in London at the millennial turn under the influence of American culture. The show begins with Simon Pegg and co-writing co-star Jessica Hynes pretending to be a couple in order to obtain a flat. This isn't a huge part of the show, as only their landlady is duped into believing them. Instead, the rest of the series revolves around the outlandish characters and their outrageous misadventures.

This is the funniest show I have ever seen. The humor is brilliant and the timing is perfect. No cheap shots. No clichés. And what I love about the Pegg/Frost/Wright Entente is that their projects aren't just a lot of stupidity thrown together, but always offer positive, redemptive themes. In this sitcom, I think its generally as simple as all the friends looking out for each other. Spaced is now my favorite television show.

An American remake pilot was recently filmed, but was quickly shot down by Fox! Hip-hip! Hurray! Spaced releases on [Region 1] DVD this summer (July 23). Finally. In the meantime, if you want to check it out... well, if all else fails, YouTube has all fourteen episodes.

5/5 stars

Above: You and I, splitting up, looking for survivors, and getting out of Raccoon City.

"Brave" New [Jim]

Today's a whining post. I'd urge you to skip over this.
So, the daily posting has definitely come to a halt, but I'll try not to let this blog die out. Not just yet. I've been pretty busy trying to catch up with old friends. But as I watch myself interact with others, I can't help but think that something terrible has happened to me. I'm different. But not in the way you would hope someone would be after a year of Bible college. While I try to be more focused on Christ and try to be more considerate of those around me, I just seem to be getting worse. I've become even less articulate, more awkward, more clueless, less confident, more overemotional, and afraid of everything... Where did all of this come from?

Actually, a lot of old friends have made comments about me based on how I used to be that really kinda hurt... I don't know how to respond, but it sounds like I used to be a real piece of work. But it's like I'm only trading out terrible qualities for other terrible qualities. What am I doing? What do I do now?

I have nothing to look forward to! I know this is dramatic, but it's refreshing to at least be honest every now and then. I don't want to go to UCCS. I don't ever want to go to school again. Neither do I want to stay home, 'cause I'll just end up playing video games and watching TV all day. I don't really want to go to Camp Elim, either... I mean, with this emotional and spiritual instability, I especially don't want to be counseling. I really can't seem to find anything I want except a fantasy girl who does not exist and children I'll probably screw up twice as bad as I have myself. Yeah, the dream is still to make video games, but I don't believe in myself at all anymore. And God seems to be silent... or I can't hear Him, or I'm not listening, or something.

Is it really fair to pin all this on Emmaus, or was this character decay inevitable? I feel like, as gay as it may sound, Emmaus has crushed my spirit. I feel like I've been driven insane and reduced to nothing. Though Emmaus is (and always will be) over, I feel haunted. I don't know if it was the shame-based teaching, the impossibly lofty expectations, or the perpetual inability to be myself, but I feel devastated. Like I have nothing left.

I turned the comments off for this post, 'cause I don't want anyone to feel obligated to say something. I'm not looking for pity, and I'm certainly not looking for the default Christian answers. This is just something I had to say.

You can say the word.
Unworthy though I am,
O Bread of Life, O Bread of Life,
I will be healed and come.

Christ, Christ is my hope.
Christ, Christ is my light.
-Karen Peris, The Innocence Mission

(I really don't like to post song lyrics, but you looked like you need that.)

Movie Review MADNESS

So, on my international flights, I had plenty of time to catch up on my film consumption. Here's what I consumed:

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
(Andrew Adamson, 2005)
It's been quite awhile since I've read the book, so I really can't remember how well the movie stays true to the original story. But it seemed fairly well done. The kids weren't too bad of actors for their ages. All the baddies had ridiculously lame voices, though... Something felt like it was missing. But I love Aslan, and everything he said made me cry. 'Cause [H]e's(?) Jesus.
3/5 stars

Beetlejuice
(Tim Burton, 1988)
I watched this on the Israeli movie channel, HotFun, because I was too tired to do anything else and nothing else was on. I vaguely recall seeing this movie when I was a kid, but all this movie was is, as they say on the streets, stinky poopy doo-doo. I kinda hate myself for watching all the way until the end.
1/5 stars (pretty much the worst rating I'll give)

the second half of Collateral
(Michael Mann, 2004)
I flipped to this right after Beetlejuice (but on HotAction). It was dumb, boring and cliché. Why don't you shut up and leave us alone, Tom Cruise?
2/5 stars

The Savages
(Tamara Jenkins, 2007)
Wasn't that entertaining, and I didn't really get anything out of it. I didn't dislike it, but I wouldn't watch it again.
2/5 stars (but a higher two stars than Collateral)

The Kite Runner
(Mark Forster, 2007)
Beautiful. Powerful. Heart-warming. Intense. Epic. Brilliant story, cinematography, and acting. (Or at least I assume so. It's always harder to tell when the movie's in another language.)
5/5 stars (pretty much the best rating I'll give)

The Good Night
(Jake Paltrow, 2007)
With Martin Freeman (The [British] Office) and Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) starring, I was hoping for more of a comedy. I liked the story though, but it was kind of an awkward film to watch on a plane while surrounded by Bible college students.
3/5 stars

Um... I think that was it.

Israel I Have Loved, But Emmaus I Hated

Hello dearest friends and family! I've returned from yet another "Conque-temps" with a bit of a burden lifted from my shoulders (EMMAUS IS OVER!!!!!!!!!), and I'm slowly gaining optimism. I still feel as though Emmaus was somewhat of a defeat, but at least I'm able to move on now.

The trip itself, you ask? How polite of you. Well, I have some mixed emotions...

I mean, Israel is an incredible land! After all, some of the most important events in world history take place in that region! But even its history (and future) aside, it has such interesting people and beautiful landscapes! And Jerusalem is amazing! There's so much in the Old City to see, and so many nooks and crannies to explore! During my stay, I kayaked down the Jordon, rode a camel in the desert, scaled down a cliff at Galilee, "spelunked" through a long, narrow, pitch black, waterlogged tunnel under Jerusalem, and much more! The trip itself was incredibly fun!

But... It was still Emmaus. Awkward silences and forced conversations were bountiful. Sometimes I would say something (could be a joke, a question, an observation) and everyone would just go totally silent. It was such an awkward group... And I put up with, no exaggeration, the most annoying person I've ever met. I couldn't explore as much I wanted to, because the buddy system was strictly enforced and I had no-buddy. We rushed from place to place and stared at more piles of rocks than I care to recount. So while we did a lot of fun things, I still felt really lonely. In fact, I think I would have been less lonely if I had actually been alone.

But Emmaus is over and I am free! It's so good to be home and I hope to see all you Coloradan readers soon! I didn't take many still shots, but I got a lot of video footage and will try to compile something soon.

Above: The only decent still shot I took.

Pa

A belated happy birthday to my Dad!

Above: You (as my wonderful Dad)!

Post-Resolution: To Israel

Oh yeah, so, for anyone that didn't know, I'm headed off to Israel tomorrow.

I know I should be excited, but as educational and inspiring as I'm sure it should be, it's also kinda the final stretch of the Emmaus menace. I know— I know I'm a turd for viewing such a great opportunity so darkly. See, I signed up for the trip in September, when I was (believe it or not) a bit more optimistic. I thought I would have made a good deal of friends too. Please don't misunderstand me; I've made some great friends, but unfortunately, none of them are going on this trip. Actually, I'll be with some of the most annoying people I can imagine being with for two and a half weeks. A lot of the kids there are really nice too, but I have just never been able to click with very many of them. I just don't want two and a half more weeks of awkward silences, forced conversations, masks, and... well, loneliness. If any of my faithful blog followers can arrange to accompany me over there, please don't hesitate!

Well, all that aside, my blog will be on a bit of hiatus. I've been careful to post every day since I've started, so this is a monumental occasion! Hopeful getting out of the habit won't bring the blog to end, as it usually does with all my pointless projects. Oh well. New ones are always bound to pop up!

Firefly/Serenity

(Joss Whedon, 2002, 2005)

Firefly is one of the greatest television shows I have ever seen. Originally airing on Fox, it quickly gained a strong cult following. And no wonder. Whedon brilliantly combined past, present, and future; embodying the old west spirit of adventure, a science fiction sense of imagination, and the fact that people of all eras face the very same conflicts. The characters, never flat or uninteresting, are what really hold the series together. It's a wonderful blend of drama, action, romance and humor. I only docked it a star because a few of the episodes didn't really seem to go anywhere.

But true to Fox's nature, the show was canceled after only fourteen episodes. Three of the episodes weren't ever aired. Perhaps it's bettered that it was taken off the air, because the show never got a chance to "jump the shark." But for three years the show's loyal fans were left in suspense. Finally, Serenity was released to wrap up the unanswered questions and bring some resolution to the series. And what a resolution it was! This movie was nothing short of epic! A few details from the show were never explained, but for the most part everything was nicely wrapped up. Serenity stayed true to the Firefly series and there was certainly no skimping on the action. I loved it.

Firefly: 4/5 stars
+ Serenity: 5/5 stars
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Total: 9/5 stars

Above: You and I, defying all odds.

A Triple Holiday Extravaganza!

A celebratory day today!

First, the obvious: Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to my Mom, your mom (notice yours is in lowercase), moms everywhere, and everyone ever born of a woman! (Adam and Eve, you're OUT.) My mother is wonderful!

Above: You, a wonderful mother having a wonderful day!

Next, it's Brother Andrew's birthday! Hip-hip hurray, Brother Andrew!

Above: You (the big one), having a super birthday!

Finally, today is also Pentecost, a day commemorating the church being filled by the Holy Spirit! Happy Pentecost, everybody!

Above: A wondrous site to behold!